Sometimes It's Just Too Much
by brucksbabe
Summary: A Jedi is supposed to be a model of respect and diplomacy for the rest of the galaxy to stand in awe of. Jedi Apprentice's should know better than to lie to their Masters and break fellow student's noses. Evidently, Obi-Wan doesn't. PLEASE R
1. Caught

Qui-Gon Jinn stepped into the living quarters of the modest apartment he shared with his Padawan and sighed. The Council had just assigned them a new mission, and he knew the boy would be reluctant to leave. His best friend Bant Erin was ill, and Obi-Wan had been sitting by her side in every spare moment. She was almost healed, but Qui-Gon had no doubt she would be with the Healers for at least another week, and he knew Obi-Wan would not want to leave her. With their other best friends Garen and Reeft both off planet, Obi-Wan had been Bant's only constant companion other than her Master, but he knew Mace was more than capable of caring for her.  
  
His musings were interrupted as the door slid open. Standing in front of him was his Padawan, shoulders slightly slumped with exhaustion. Not only was the boy going to regular classes and training with his Master, he was spending every second he could with Bant. Qui-Gon had been supportive of his Padawan's decision, but had told him that he would still be expected to keep up his grades. "Visiting hours over Padawan?" Qui-Gon knew the boy stayed in the healer's ward until they kicked him out every evening, and he also knew how tired these excursions left his apprentice.  
  
"Yeah. Bant is getting better. They think she'll be well enough to go home soon. She actually talked to me today, " Obi-Wan's voice told Qui-Gon far more than his words. The boy was ecstatic about his friend's improvement. Only one short week ago she had been comatose, and no one had been sure if she would even survive. That she had the energy to talk to her friend so soon was nothing short of amazing.  
  
"I'm glad. Obi-Wan, we need to talk," Qui-Gon's voice was cut short by the beeping of the com unit. He wondered as he crossed the room to answer who it could be. Perhaps the Council had changed their minds? Or maybe Bant was worse again. As he answered the call, he was surprised to see Obi-Wan's Galactic History teacher on the line.  
  
"Master Knoels. Can I help you?" Qui-Gon was confused. Teachers generally respected their student's privacy and only called their students Masters if something was seriously wrong.  
  
"I hope so Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan hasn't been turning in any of his work, and he fell asleep in class yesterday. I'm assuming you got the note I sent home with him?" The teacher's voice was pleasant, but it held a hint of annoyance, as if the problems Obi-Wan was having were beginning to wear him out.  
  
"Note? I didn't receive a note. Just a moment, I want to ask my Padawan something," Qui-Gon said. He was becoming more upset by the second. First his Padawan didn't do his homework, and then he hid a note from a teacher? Qui-Gon could scarcely believe it.  
  
Turning around, he looked at Obi-Wan, who refused to meet his eyes. "Padawan, what's this about a note from Master Knoels?" The boy's expression was panicked.  
"I erm, well that is I kind of um, well I lost it," Qui-Gon didn't have to be able to see his Padawan's eyes to know the boy was lying to him.  
  
"I suppose there's no harm in me checking your backpack then, just to make sure it isn't there?" Qui-Gon's voice was harsh, and he gave his student no chance to argue. Going into the boy's room, he found his apprentice's backpack. He only had to look for a few seconds to find the note. It was stuffed in the small front pocket, evidently where Obi-Wan had thought no one would find it. Returning to the living room, he held it up.  
"It sure doesn't look lost to me. You have a lot of explaining to do Obi-Wan Kenobi. Go to your room while I finish talking to Master Knoels. I'll deal with you later." The boy slumped, defeated, as he walked into his room.  
  
"I'm terribly sorry Master Knoels. I had no idea Obi-Wan wasn't doing his work. You can be sure I'll speak to him about it." Master Knoels easily read the frustration in Qui-Gon's words.  
  
"Don't be to harsh with him Qui. He's just a boy and his best friend is very sick. I'm sure it won't happen again." Bidding the other Master good night, Qui-Gon ended the transmission and walked towards his Padawan's room.  
  
Opening the door, Qui-Gon was greeted with the image of his distraught Padawan sitting on his bed, head in his hands, the picture of dejection. Upon realizing his Master had entered the room, Obi-Wan sprang to his feet. "I'm sorry Master! I truly am." The last part was barely a whisper, but the genuine remorse in his apprentice's voice did nothing to stall Qui- Gon's wrath. Seeing the angry look in his Master's eyes, Obi-Wan cringed, steeling himself for the coming lecture.  
  
"Padawan Kenobi," Obi-Wan flinched at the use of his full title. Qui-Gon only used it when he was very, very angry, "you have a lot of explaining to do. At the moment I'm too angry to deal with you, but I suggest you be working on your History homework when I return." With that, Qui-Gon turned on his heel and walked out of the room.  
  
Once his Master was gone, Obi-Wan sat down at his desk, determined to make headway on the horrific pile of homework he'd been neglecting before his Master returned. Once he sat down to work, he realized he couldn't concentrate. He was too nervous about what his Master might say. He had never ever made Qui-Gon too angry to "deal with him" as his Master had put it. He had seen Qui-Gon yell only once before, but this quiet, rage filled tone was so mush worse. He had PROMISED his Master that he would not allow his grades to suffer so that he could visit Bant. Every night, Qui-Gon had asked him if his homework was done, and his reply was always a dutiful, "Yes Master." Even though nine times out of ten he hadn't even started. Then he had hidden the note, deceiving his Master. Lying and deception were both offenses that warranted dismissal, especially considering how long it had gone on.  
  
Whether or not Qui-Gon dismissed him, he knew without a doubt that he had lost his place in his Master's heart. The only thing that had gotten Obi- Wan through Bant's original sickness had been Qui-Gon's loving comfort, and realizing that his stupidity had without a doubt destroyed his bond with his Master broke Obi-Wan's heart. He had come to think of Qui-Gon as a father of sorts, and the thought of losing his place in his Master's life was more than he could bear. Obi-Wan, overstressed and exhausted from worrying about Bant, was overcome by his grief and remorse. Letting his head fall into his hands, he began to cry.  
  
In the next room, Qui-Gon paced back and forth, unable to control his raging emotions. He couldn't believe what his Padawan had done. Not only had he broken his promise, he'd lied to him every day for at least a month. To top it all off, he'd hidden the note from his History teacher, and then he'd even had the nerve to lie to him about losing it. Stopping suddenly, Qui-Gon forced himself to examine his emotions. Yes he was angry with his Padawan, as well as disappointed and hurt by his actions, but mostly he was angry with himself. He had allowed Obi-Wan to spend all of his free time sitting at his friend's side without noticing how exhausted he was becoming, until the boy was falling asleep in classes and barely had the strength to do anything. Had Master Knoels not called when he had, Obi-Wan might very well have wound up in the healer's along with Bant. Qui-Gon released his anger at himself. He could be guilty later. At the moment he had more important things to deal with, namely his Padawan.  
  
He wasn't angry that the boy had lied to him, only disappointed with his behavior and hurt by his deception. He knew they boy had been overwhelmed, though he had handled it badly. He was angry with his Padawan for pushing himself so far. That was a separate issue, one that would have to be handled delicately, as was the mission he was leaving later that evening. He had decided not to take Obi-Wan with him. He was sure the boy would see it as a punishment, but it wasn't intended as one. Obi-Wan was too weak and too exhausted to go into such a potentially dangerous situation, though he doubted the boy would understand that.  
  
Now he just had to decide what to do about punishing Obi-Wan. If he grounded him, he would have plenty of time for his homework, but he would be able to be with Bant at all. Qui-Gon knew such a forced separation at such a critical time would break the boy's heart. He also knew that if he was away on a mission, Obi-Wan would be tempted to break his grounding and go visit his friend.  
  
Suddenly Qui-Gon had an idea. Picking up the comlink on his bedside table, he punched in the coordinates for his best friend Mace Windu. Not only would Mace be able to keep Obi-Wan in check while he was gone, but Qui- Gon's close friend also happened to be Bant's master. "Qui! What's up? Shouldn't you be packing?" Mace greeted his old friend.  
  
"Mace, I can't take Obi-Wan with me on the mission. Not only is he grounded for lying to me and not doing his homework, but he's spent so much time with Bant that he's completely exhausted. I was wondering if he could stay with you." Qui-Gon didn't hesitate to ask his best friend to baby sit. Mace liked Obi-Wan, and he was sure his friend would take good care of his Padawan while he was away.  
  
"Of course! He really did look tired last I saw him. Have him bring his stuff by my quarters on your way to the loading docks. If he's grounded, is he allowed to visit my Bant at all? You know he's going to want to." Mace hoped Qui-Gon would say yes. His Padawan needed Obi-Wan, who had spent almost as much time at her side as her own Master had since she'd gotten sick.  
  
Qui-Gon thought for a moment. Allowing Obi-Wan to visit her would completely defeat the entire purpose of grounding him, but not allowing him to see her seemed far too harsh, even for such a serious list of transgressions. "He may go visit her, but only for half an hour in the evening, and he needs to be in bed by nine every night. Do you think I'm being to harsh?"  
  
"Depends, do you?"  
  
"I don't know. I love him and I don't want to upset him, but he has to realize he can't go around lying to me. Knowing the history of some small backwater planet could save his life some day, not to mention that I have to be able to trust him. I can't do that if he's lying to me."  
  
"Then I think you're doing the right thing. He screwed up, and knowing Obi, he's beating himself up over it. I know it's hard for you, but sometimes you have to punish him to keep him safe."  
  
"You're right Mace. It doesn't make it any easier. I yelled at him earlier, and I think it really upset him. Should I write down the rules, or can you remember them? "I've got it. He's grounded, can see Bant for half an hour, he can't go anywhere else but classes, and he has to be in bed by ten. Go get ready now. You're ship's leaving in thirty standard minutes." Mace laughed as he ended the communication. He knew it would only take Qui-Gon about five minutes to get packed, but he also knew his friend would want to talk to his Padawan before leaving him.  
  
Qui-Gon packed quickly, taking only a few essentials and a holo of himself and Obi-Wan. All that remained to be done was speak to his apprentice and get him ready. Checking his chrono, Qui-Gon saw that he barely had enough time to get his apprentice packed and shipped off to Mace's before he had to leave. Oh, well. They would be able to talk once he got back. Seeing no reason to stall further, Qui-Gon walked to Obi-Wan's room and knocked softly. "Obi-Wan you need to pack. I'm going on a mission and you're going to stay with Mace. You're grounded until further notice, but you may visit Bant for half an hour every day as long as she's in the hospital." He intended for his voice to be firm but loving, but to the distraught boy on the other side of the door it sounded cold and angry.  
  
Obi-Wan forced himself to get up and get packed. Throwing a couple of extra tunics and his datapad into his backpack, he sighed. His Master had never left him at home when he went on a mission before. If a mission came up and Obi-Wan was unable to go, Qui-Gon refused it. Perhaps he was leaving Obi-Wan behind as a preamble to dismissing him. That had to be it. Qui-Gon was so disappointed he was dumping Obi-Wan, but he wanted to wait to have him kicked out of the Order for Bant to get better, knowing that his presence by her side made things easier for her. In the mean time, Qui- Gon didn't want to get stuck with his failure of an apprentice, so he was going away and dumping Obi-Wan on Mace.  
  
Finished packing, Obi-Wan walked down the hall to the bathroom to get his toothbrush. Looking in the mirror, he frowned when he saw how red his eyes were. He splashed his face lightly with cold water, rubbing a wet washcloth lightly over his eyes in an attempt to decrease the redness. Satisfied that no one would be able to tell that he had been crying, he put his toothbrush in his duffel bag and went into the living room.  
  
"I'm ready Master." His voice caught slightly as he realized he might never again speak to his Master, but he pushed that thought out of his mind. He deserved to be dropped. He'd lied to his Master and abused his trust. The first rule of being a Padawan was to never lie to your Master or hide things from him, and he'd broken it. Over and over again.  
  
Qui-Gon didn't look up from what he was reading on the datapad in front of him. "Just a moment." He was so preoccupied with what he was doing that he didn't hear the tone of Obi-Wan's voice. Had he realized how upset his Padawan was, he would have hugged the boy and told him he was forgiven, but he remained completely oblivious to his Padawan's anguish. Closing what she had been reading, Qui-Gon slipped the datachip out of the machine and into his pocket. Picking up his travel bag, he turned towards the door, knowing his apprentice would follow.  
  
When they reached Mace's quarters, Qui-Gon turned towards his apprentice. "I expect you to be on your best behavior. Mace is doing me a favor by taking care of you, especially on such short notice."  
  
Obi-Wan's answer was quiet, "Yes Master." He might have said something else, or apologized again for lying to his Master, but at that moment the door to Mace's quarters opened.  
  
"Hey Qui. Here to drop your brat off? So Obi-Wan, you've been spending a lot of time with my little girl lately, are you two together?" Mace had sensed the dismal mood his friend was in and had taken it upon himself to make one of them smile before Qui-Gon left. Unfortunately, Obi-Wan took his gentle teasing the wrong way, and answered angrily.  
  
"No we are not together! You..." Obi-Wan would have continued, but Qui-Gon stopped his tirade by placing a firm hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Obi-Wan Kenobi! I seem to recall having a talk about being on your best behavior less than a minute ago. I don't consider yelling at Master Mace as being on your best behavior," Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan a long, hard look, "If you don't shape up right now you are going to be very sorry when I get back. Do I make myself clear?" Qui-Gon was shocked at his apprentice's outburst. Rarely had he ever heard Obi-Wan raise his voice, and for him to suddenly yell at a Council member was unthinkable. Qui-Gon made a mental note to work with Obi-Wan on controlling his temper when he returned, then turned to Mace. "I apologize for my apprentices behavior. I truly don't know what is wrong with him lately."  
  
Mace smiled. He hadn't meant to upset Obi-Wan, but he should have known better than to bring up Bant, even in a joking manner. "It's okay Qui, but if you don't leave now you're going to miss your ship. The freighter that's agreed to take you is on a really tight schedule and can't wait around."  
  
"Goodbye Mace. I'll see you when I get back." Picking up his bag, Qui-Gon headed towards the hangar. Mace looked down at Obi-Wan and saw the look on his face. Uh oh. The situation was worse than he had originally thought. The kid looked like a lost puppy. Qui-Gon hadn't even told him goodbye. Of all the things the Master could have forgotten! Mace knew Qui-Gon had never left Obi-Wan behind when he went on a mission, and he knew that the kid missed his Master, but he looked so...abandoned. Like he didn't think Qui-Gon was coming back. 


	2. Fight

Author's Note- I really ought to be working on Lost, but this is finished, so I see no harm in uploading it periodically. If you're reading this and you haven't, check Lost out! It's my masterpiece! A/N2- I know this isn't what was posted earlier. That, for some reason I cannot fathom, was the second chapter of Lost. It made absolutely no sense with the story, but I'm guessing I saw the two in the file name and thought I had the right one. Sorry about that! Disclaimer: If I owned them, I wouldn't be writing this on such an old computer. Actually, I probably wouldn't be writing this, because the series is way past this point. Kayne- That's because it's in chapters. It's all written, though ( (- Ff.net NEVER doesn't mess up my stories. I went back and fixed it. (I hope) Now, on wit the story! "Goodbye Mace. I'll see you when I get back." Picking up his bag, Qui-Gon headed towards the hangar. Mace looked down at Obi-Wan and saw the look on his face. Uh oh. The situation was worse than he had originally thought. The kid looked like a lost puppy. Qui-Gon hadn't even told him goodbye. Of all the things the Master could have forgotten! Mace knew Qui-Gon had never left Obi-Wan behind when he went on a mission, and he knew that the kid missed his Master, but he looked so...abandoned. Like he didn't think Qui-Gon was coming back. Deciding that the best thing to do for Obi-Wan was to distract him, Mace said, "What are we standing out here for? Let's go in." Obi-Wan picked up his bag and walked into Mace's quarters. "The guest room is on the left of Bant's. You know where to find it. How about I make us some tea while you get settled?" Mace's voice was kind, but Obi-Wan seemed totally unresponsive. He picked up his bag and headed down the hall towards the guest room . Once there, he set his bag down at the foot of the bed before collapsing heavily onto it. He hadn't even said goodbye. He'd said goodbye to Mace, but not to him. Obi-Wan decided that his Master was even angrier than he had previously thought. Deciding not to keep Mace waiting any longer, lest he tell Qui-Gon he was still being a brat, Obi-Wan walked into the living area of Mace's apartment. The Master was still in the kitchen making tea, but he came out a moment later.  
  
"Do you like your room?" Mace's voice was gentle; it was as if he were afraid the boy would bolt at one wrong move.  
  
"It's fine...I-I mean-n yes sir." Obi-Wan hoped Mace wouldn't tell Qui-Gon he wasn't behaving properly. He had meant to answer him respectfully, he'd just forgotten. He never spoke like that unless he was at something formal, but Qui-Gon's words about "best behavior" stuck in his mind. He was going to be a perfect angel while his Master was gone, and maybe he wouldn't drop him. Losing Qui-Gon's affection and trust was a devastating blow, and he didn't think he could deal with being cut out completely.  
  
Mace looked at him in surprise. The boy seemed terrified, as if he thought he was going to get in trouble if he didn't behave like a model apprentice. "Obi-Wan, when Bant's well you two spend half your time running around here. You know I'm not that strict. Loosen up a little."  
  
Obi-Wan winced. In trying to be good, he had displeased Mace, which was exactly what he was trying to avoid. Without thinking, he blurted out, "Please don't tell Master Qui-Gon!" His hands flew to cover his mouth. Oh no! Now Master Windu would tell Qui-Gon that he was misbehaving AND trying to hide it from him. He got up and ran to his room, slamming the door. He leaned against the door and collapsed, curling up in the fetal position and rocking quietly. Dimly he realized that running had most likely made a bad situation worse, but he was too upset to care. "Best behavior, best behavior, best behavior." Obi-Wan repeated it over and over to himself, as if trying to drum it into his mind. There was no way after that outburst that Mace wouldn't go straight to Qui-Gon, and any hope he'd had of convincing his Master to keep him had dissolved.  
  
Obi-Wan was startled by a soft knock on the door. "Obi? Come out here." Mace's voice was gentle, and he didn't sound at all angry. Mindful of his Master's instructions, Obi-Wan was reluctant to disobey, and quickly stood up. Opening the door, he stepped out, wondering what Mace wanted.  
  
"Follow me." Mace's voice was kind, but it still made Obi-Wan nervous. When no other explanation was offered, he followed Mace, wondering where they were going. He was surprised to find himself in the Room of A Thousand Fountains. Mace guided him to a bench near the waterfalls and sat down, gesturing to the seat beside him. Sitting, Obi-Wan looked around, confused.  
  
"I don't mean to sound impertinent, but what are we doing here sir?" Mace smiled, looking around for a moment before he answered.  
  
"I know you and Bant come here sometimes, so I thought it might help you relax. We need to talk." Obi-Wan tensed slightly, and Mace feared that the boy would bolt if he said the wrong thing. "Something's wrong Obi-Wan, and I want to know what. You've seemed incredibly upset ever since your Master dropped you off." His voice was kind, and Obi-Wan found himself suddenly inclined to tell his Master's best friend everything.  
  
"He's going to dismiss me." The words, spoken quietly, shocked Mace. He opened his mouth to comment, but closed it quickly as Obi-Wan continued. "I haven't been finishing my homework. I've been trying, but staying with Bant until eight, there's no way I can get everything done when I get home. The thing is, Qui-Gon said he wouldn't let me spend so much time with Bant unless I made sure my schoolwork didn't suffer. I promised I'd get it all done. Every night he asked me if I'd done all of my homework, and every night I told him yes. Then my history teacher sent a note home, but I was too scared to give it to him. I hid it in my backpack, but Master Knoels called today. I don't think I've ever seen my Master so angry." Obi-Wan choked, and Mace placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He took a moment to calm himself before he began again. "He sent me to my room and told me he was 'too angry to deal with me'. The next thing I knew, he was telling me to pack. He didn't even say goodbye!" As he finished his story, Obi-Wan collapsed into tears. "I've been trying to be really good, so that maybe when he got back he wouldn't be so mad at me and maybe he'd keep me, but I keep screwing up."  
  
Mace shook his head. Obi-Wan was the most important thing in his Master's life, and Mace knew that no matter what the boy did, that would never change. He just had to convince him of that. "Qui-Gon will not dismiss you. You mean to much to him."  
  
"But he was so angry..." Obi-Wan's voice was uncertain. Was there still a chance? He hoped so, but he was reluctant to believe it.  
  
"Of course he was angry! Not only did you lie to him, you pushed yourself too hard. If Master Knoels hadn't called when he did, you might have kept going until you landed yourself in the healers, and that's something your Master wouldn't be able to live with." Mace smiled fondly at the boy. The concept of Qui-Gon dismissing Obi-Wan was crazy. "Now, why have you been acting like such a nut since you came over?" This was a question he wanted answered. The boy literally shook with fear at every little thing, and it was starting to wear on Mace's nerves.  
  
"He said I had to be on my 'best behavior'. I was afraid if I annoyed you you'd tell him and he'd be even more upset. I just want him to love me again." The last sentence was barely whispered, and Mace wasn't sure he'd really heard it. Mace gave him a moment to compose himself, before standing up.  
  
"We should be going back now. Your Master said you were to be in bed by nine every night, so we've got about ten minutes." Mace laughed as Obi-Wan jumped up.  
  
"Sith! There's no way I can get back there and ready for bed in ten minutes!"  
  
"Language, little one, language. I don't want to have to tell your Master you were cursing." The last he had meant jokingly. He wasn't really going to go tell Qui-Gon about every little thing. It seemed Obi-Wan didn't realize this, as he immediately straightened up.  
  
"I apologize for my language Master Windu. It will not happen again." Mace rolled his eyes, and the two headed back to his quarters.  
  
Once they had gotten back, Obi-Wan changed into his pajamas and went straight to bed. Despite hurrying as fast as he could, he was still a few minutes late. Mace stood in the doorway watching him as he climbed into bed. "I'm going to call your Master later, do you want to stay up to talk to him?" Obi-Wan shook his head.  
  
"My Master said I have to be in bed by nine o'clock. I know the rules. No matter why I want to stay up, I can't. I'm already in for a lecture when he gets back for being late. I don't want to make things any worse." Obi- Wan sighed. He'd tried his best to be in bed on time, but ten minutes wasn't enough when he had to walk seven of them just to get back to his room. One of the worst things he could do when he was grounded was not be in bed on time. The resulting lectures were horrible, and more often than not his curfew got earlier and his grounding got longer.  
  
"Who said I was going to tell Qui? It was my fault more than yours. I dragged you out to the Fountains and made you late. I'm sure, if I saw fit to mention it, that Qui-Gon would understand." Obi-Wan visibly relaxed at this statement. He had not looked forward to facing the music for being late, even if it was only by seven minutes. He vividly remembered being only ten minutes late to bed the last night of a three-week grounding, only to wind up grounded for another week, which had resulted in his missing Garen's fourteenth birthday. He had nearly gone stir crazy, but the disappointment in his Master's voice as he lectured him on responsibility had been far worse than the grounding or missing the party.  
  
Mace smiled at the boy. "Sleep tight." Obi-Wan nodded, collapsing onto the bed. The stress of the day finally caught up with him, and he was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.  
  
In the living room, Mace dialed Qui-Gon's com number. A mini holo of his friend appeared in the living room, looking tired and stressed. "How's the flight?" "The flight's fine. How's my Padawan?" Well, Mace mused, Qui-Gon certainly didn't have a problem with getting straight down to business.  
  
"He's...well, I suppose he could be worse. I think he's just lonely because you left him. He's not used to being left here alone. We went down to the Room of A Thousand Fountains to talk, and he wound up crying. He seems to think you don't love him anymore. We didn't get back in time for him to be in bed by nine, and I thought he was going to have a nervous breakdown when he realized he was late! For whatever reason, he seems to be terrified of disappointing you." Mace knew he was hurting Qui-Gon by telling him this, but he also knew that he needed to know.  
  
Qui-Gon just stood there a moment before answering. "Terrified of me? Why would he be scared of me? I'm his Master! I care about him and love him more than anything in the world. Where is he? I need to talk to him!"  
  
"Shh Qui, don't yell. The poor kid's asleep. He was exhausted. I asked if he wanted to stay up to talk to you, and he said he couldn't because it was after his curfew. He was asleep practically before his head hit the pillow."  
  
Qui-Gon frowned. "I'll call back once I get settled tomorrow then. I really need to talk to him. I can't have him scared of me. It's probably because I yelled at him. It's got to be because I yelled at him about behaving for you. I didn't mean to upset him. It's just that he's been so unpredictable lately. I didn't want him giving you any trouble."  
  
In his room, Obi-Wan began to cry softly. He hadn't been able to understand anything Mace had said, but Qui-Gon's yelling about needing to talk to him had woken him up. He knew Qui-Gon had continued talking afterwards, but he hadn't been able to make out what he'd said. Knowing suddenly beyond all doubt that his life as a Jedi was now over, he fell back onto the bed, crying himself to sleep.  
  
The next morning, when Mace came into Obi-Wan's room to wake him up, he was stunned to find the boy sitting at his desk, bent over a datapad. "What are you doing?" Obi-Wan looked up from the datapad. "I'm trying to get some of my History homework done." He had decided that if he was going to be kicked out of the Order, he wanted to leave with everything done. He had already completed several nights worth of assignments, and was confident that if he worked through lunch he could have all of his late work done by class. If he worked through History on his Mathematics and Navigation homework, he ought to be able to complete the few assignments he had missed, leaving him completely caught up at the end of the day. He could borrow the history notes from Garen, who had just gotten back on planet earlier that day. Copying them down would stick them in his mind just as well as listening to them would.  
  
"Just remember you've got class in two hours. You should eat breakfast before you go, or you'll be hungry all day. Come home directly after class, you should probably do some of your homework before you go visit Bant." Mace's manner was brisk and cheerful. He could tell that something was bothering Obi-Wan, but he didn't want to force it out of him. He wasn't the boy's Master and he couldn't expect him to confide in him. The reason he wanted Obi-Wan to come home directly after class was that Qui-Gon planned to call. The Master had been very upset to hear that his Padawan thought he was angry with him, and fully intended to set things right. He had been very upset by his Padawan's behavior, but that didn't mean he loved him any less. He wanted to make sure the boy understood that. Mace wished he could tell the boy this, but knew that he wouldn't believe him. He knew Obi-Wan wasn't going to believe that Qui-Gon loved him until he heard it straight from his Master.  
  
Obi-Wan worked hard for the next hour and a half. He had only part of one assignment left, which he would probably be able to get done in free writing in his first class, Basic, where they were supposed to learn not only how to use the language properly, but how to negotiate effectively. Basically, it was study hall, with a lecture at the beginning. It turned out that, a) he was very good at Galactic History when he put his mind to it, and b) they really didn't get that much homework every night. A combination of these things had helped Obi-Wan complete his assignments in a time he wouldn't have thought possible. He was tempted to just finish and get it over with, but Mace had said he had to eat breakfast, and he knew that being late to Basic, however pointless the class, would only make the situation with his Master worse.  
  
Obi-Wan hurried into the kitchen, where he made himself toast. On the counter was a note from Mace, saying that he had had to go to a Council meeting, but that he would probably be home well before Obi-Wan got back from school. Shouldering his backpack, Obi-Wan headed to Basic.  
  
It never would have happened if he hadn't tried to take the shortcut. Obi- Wan had seen that he only had fifteen minutes to get to class, and wanting a chance to talk to Garen before the bell rang, he had taken a shortcut, which took him through several rarely used corridors. In one of them, he ran into Bruck. "Well, what do we have here? Oafy-Wan, I'm surprised at you. Skipping class?" Obi-Wan felt himself color at the nickname. Oh how he hated being called Oafy-Wan. "No, actually I'm going to Basic. What're you doing here Bruck?" Obi-Wan's voice held a hint of rage. Bruck knew he could push him over the edge, and was more than happy to do so.  
  
"Like I'm going to tell you, Oafy. Hey, how's fish girl? I heard she was going to die." His voice was casual, as if he were talking about the weather, rather than a classmate's possible death.  
  
"Her-name-is-Bant-and-she-isn't-going-to-die!" Obi-Wan choked out the words, barely able to keep himself from attacking Bruck. His Master would kill him if he got into a fight.  
  
"Do you really think they're telling you the truth Oafy? For all you know, she died last night. They probably think you'd go berserk if something happened to her. Everyone knows you're unstable already. The only reason you've got a Master is that they felt sorry for you. Speaking of which, I heard your Master had left you here. Is he finally getting rid of you?" That did it.  
  
"Bruck, just because I'm the great Qui-Gon Jinn's apprentice and you're some Knight's doesn't mean I'm a sympathy case. I'm better than you. Just deal with it already." Obi-Wan was seeing red. How had Bruck known? Was his situation really all over the Temple already?  
  
"Why you..." Bruck's voice was choked with anger as he launched himself at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan sidestepped his attack, watching with satisfaction as Bruck crashed into a wall. The next lunge didn't miss, and the two boys found themselves rolling around on the floor. Obi-Wan was too afraid of what Qui-Gon would say to actually attack Bruck, but he was defending himself, and the other boy's nose was already bloody from his run in with the wall. They were both shocked to hear a voice behind him.  
  
"Obi-Wan Kenobi! Padawan Chun! What is going on here?" The two boys rolled apart quickly, standing up and brushing themselves off in an attempt to look presentable.  
  
"He attacked me sir! I was walking to class, and he just came out of nowhere and attacked me!" Bruck was a very good actor. His voice was convincing, and had Mace not known Obi-Wan, he would have believed him in an instant. As it was, the case against the boy was very bad. His lip was bleeding, but Bruck's bloody nose was far worse. Mace vowed to get to the bottom of the matter at once.  
  
"Go to your quarters and get yourself cleaned up Bruck. Obi-Wan, come with me." Obi-Wan nearly threw up at the tone of Mace's voice. He was dead. He might as well pack up now. There was no way Mace would even wait for Qui-Gon to return after this. The two walked back to Mace's quarters in silence, both lost in thought. When they reached Mace's rooms, the Master went to the kitchen, returning a minute later with an ice pack, which he handed to Obi-Wan.  
  
"Now Obi-Wan, what exactly happened back there? I've never known you to attack anyone unprovoked." Mace's voice was serious. Fighting was forbidden at the Temple, and whether Obi-Wan had started it or not, the bloody nose Bruck had been sporting proved that he had hit the boy rather hard.  
  
"I didn't attack him! I didn't even hit him! I took the shortcut to Basic, because I wanted to talk to Garen before class began. When Bruck saw me walking down the empty hallway, he started tormenting me about Bant, and about how he'd heard she was going to die. I didn't believe him, but then he started talking about how unstable I was and saying that I was only a Padawan because the Masters felt sorry for me, but he figured that since Qui-Gon left me here I wasn't going to be one much longer. I got mad then, and I told him that just because my Master outranked his didn't mean I'd cheated. He got really mad and jumped at me, but I stepped aside. That's how he got the bloody nose. He ran into the wall. He jumped at me again, and this time we wound up rolling around on the floor. He kept hitting me, and I was trying to get on top so I could pin him down, or at least get a hold of his arms. I never hit him!" Obi-Wan's voice rang with sincerity, and Mace didn't need the Force to tell that the boy was telling the truth.  
  
"Very well then. When your lip feels better, you need to go to class. I'll write your teacher a note, explaining that you were attacked in the hallway and that it's not your fault you're late. I need to call Bruck's Master and then yours I think." Obi-Wan paled. Qui-Gon would kill him. Whether or not the fight was his fault, his Master would be angry with him for goading the boy by mentioning his Master's rank. Pride was an unacceptable emotion for a Jedi, and Obi-Wan had definitely been gloating. He knew his Master was already going to drop him, but he seemed to keep doing things that were going to make it worse. Having his Master drop him was going to be awful, but he wouldn't survive it if his Master despised him.  
  
"I think I should just go back to class now. The bleeding has stopped." Nodding, Mace pulled at a datasheet and scrawled a note on it, explaining that Obi-Wan had been injured and had had to deal with his injuries before he could go to class. Thanking the Master, Obi-Wan headed to class. 


	3. Classes and Visits

Obi-Wan got to class just as Master Naem-Raol was finishing a review on proper use of pronouns. Obi-Wan handed him his excuse note and went quietly to his seat beside Garen. The teacher wrapped up his lecture and assigned an editing packet. Obi-Wan looked over it and was relieved to see that it was nothing new. Finishing his assignment quickly, Obi-Wan pulled out his History homework. The multiple-choice questions weren't hard, and he finished it and started on the small amount of Mathematics and Navigation work he had left. These assignments took more time, but they only got homework in Math about once a week, and they usually had some time to work on it in class, so he finished all but one page before class ended. "Where were you?" Garen began questioning Obi-Wan as soon as they left class. They both had Chemistry next, but the class was right down the hall, so they weren't worried about making it in the ten minutes allotted. "I ran into Bruck in the hall. We traded insults for a while and then he attacked me. Master Windu, who I'm staying with while Qui-Gon's away on a mission, found us, and he took me back to our quarters to fix my lip up." Garen grinned. "You got Bruck worse than he got you, right?" The rivalry Obi-Wan had with Bruck had expanded years ago to include all of Obi-Wan's friends, and Garen disliked Bruck almost as much as Obi-Wan did. "I didn't hit him, but I sidestepped and he went flying into a wall. His nose was bleeding pretty badly." Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile. It hadn't been worth the trouble he knew he was in, but it had definitely been funny. Garen laughed, and the two boys walked to Chemistry together. Obi-Wan noticed that Bruck, who was in their Chemistry class, didn't show up, but other than that the class was relatively uneventful. A pair near Garen and him accidentally added double the oxygen to their mixture, resulting in a small explosion, but nobody was hurt, and nothing else happened for the rest of class. At lunch, the two boys grabbed trays and sat down at a table with a few classmates. At the next table over, Bruck's friends whispered amongst themselves, glaring at Obi-Wan periodically. "So how's Bant?" Garen had been gone when Bant had fallen ill, and though Obi-Wan had commed him a few times and sent him letters with updates on their friend's health, he hadn't been able to go visit her yet. "She's doing better. We actually talked for a while yesterday. The healer's say she'll probably be out in a week or two." Obi-Wan grinned. They had, for a while, been almost positive she was going to die. "Have you heard anything about Reeft? They left almost two months ago!" Garen shook his head somberly. "Nobody has. I'm beginning to think something's wrong. I had my Master ask the Council if they knew anything, and all they said was the mission was top secret. You know how the Council talks." Obi-Wan frowned. "That probably means they have no idea. I'll ask Mace about it tonight." He had almost forgotten that he was staying with a senior Council member, who probably had more idea what was going on than just about anyone else. "Why are you staying with Master Windu? Your Master never leaves you behind. Even if he did, you're fifteen for crying out loud. Does he really think you need a babysitter?" Garen punched him on the shoulder jokingly, but Obi-Wan didn't laugh. "I'm grounded. My Master didn't take me because.... well, I think he's going to drop me." Garen winced. He hadn't meant to upset his friend. "You've got to be joking. You guys are one of the closest teams in the Order. I've heard my Master talking to other Masters about how you 'saved Qui-Gon from himself'. If you hadn't come along when you did, he'd never have gotten over that thing with Xanatos. What did you do that could possibly be that bad?" "I've been spending every spare moment with Bant." Garen nodded. "Well my Master said he wasn't going to let me unless I promised to get all of my homework done. I wasn't getting home until visiting hours ended at eight, and at that point I was too tired to get my homework done. I tried, but I always wound up going to bed before I finished. I told my Master I was getting everything done, and he believed me. Then Master Knoels sent a note home telling him I wasn't doing my work. I hid the note, hoping my Master wouldn't find out about it. Master Knoels called the next day, and Qui-Gon found out everything." He put his head in his hands as he finished, wondering what Garen would say. "You think he's going to drop you over that? I've done worse. Remember that time I went to the concert with Reeft while you were off planet and we managed to get drunk and wind up in jail? I got arrested! My Master was furious, but he didn't drop me. What makes you think Qui-Gon will drop you, especially considering what you were going through at the time?" Garen was confused. He had met Obi-Wan's Master several times, and he knew he was far from unreasonable. He couldn't believe he would have Obi-Wan dismissed from the Order over homework. "He got really mad. He said he was too angry to deal with me, and the next thing I knew, he was telling me to pack up, because he was leaving and I was staying. Why else would he leave me behind?" Obi-Wan was positive he was going to be dropped. No amount of logical reasoning was going to convince him otherwise. "Have you stopped to think that maybe he left you behind because he knew you wouldn't want to leave? If this hadn't happened, would you have gone quietly, knowing that Bant was still in the hospital?" It seemed obvious to Garen, but it hadn't occurred to Obi-Wan yet. "There've been times when I didn't want to go before, but he's always brought me, even if he had to literally drag me. If I couldn't go somewhere, he turned down the mission. Every time. Until now, that is." Garen tried again. "Maybe he figures you're older now and mature enough to be left alone." Obi- Wan snorted. "Then why did he leave me with a babysitter?" Garen had nothing to say to that. "Come on, let's go or we're going to be late to History." Obi-Wan wanted to get there early to turn in all of his missing assignments. He also had some math homework he still needed to finish that he was hoping to get to during History. Dumping their trays in the cleaning receptacles, the two boys headed to Galactic History. "Master Knoels?" Obi-Wan's voice was hesitant. He wondered if the Master was angry with him for not turning in so much homework. "Yes Obi-Wan? Do you need something?" Master Knoels looked up from the papers he was grading and smiled. Up until lately, Obi-Wan had always been a model student, and, understanding the circumstances, he was able to forgive the recent lapse in behavior. "I've got the assignments I haven't been getting done." Obi-Wan held out a stack of datasheets. "Oh, which ones?" Master Knoels was pleased that the boy had begun working on the assignments he had missed, especially considering how tired he still looked. "All of them. I'm sorry I haven't been doing my assignments or paying attention in class, and I promise to improve." Obi-Wan looked up shyly, still uncertain as to whether or not the Master was angry with him. "I understand you've been going through a lot lately. I only called your Master because I was worried about you. How's Bant?" Bant was in his Coruscant History class, the class for the age level below Obi-Wan's group, and he had always rather liked the sweet Mon Calamari girl. "She's doing pretty well. When I was with her yesterday, she seemed to have more energy, and we even talked for a while. The healers expect her to be well enough to go home soon." Obi-Wan smiled. He had been so worried for his friend, and knowing she was out of danger was a great relief. The class began to fill the room then, and he headed to his seat. The first part of the class was a lecture, and Obi-Wan diligently took notes, determined to be a model student. Master Knoels then passed out their homework, giving them the last twenty minutes to get started. Obi-Wan pulled out his math homework then, and he was putting the finishing touches on his chart as the bell rang. The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Obi-Wan turned in his missing assignments to his Math teacher, who told him not to worry about them, and that she had planned on simply excusing him from them given that his best friend had been on the brink of death. When classes ended, Obi-Wan headed straight for Mace's quarters, arriving there only five minutes after the end of math. Mace was waiting for him. "You should probably get started on your homework. I know you're going to have your hands full with all of the assignments you're missing in History. What other homework haven't you turned in?" Mace didn't sound judgmental, just curious, and Obi-Wan smiled as he answered. "I was missing some things in Math too. I got everything done this morning though. All I've got tonight is a math worksheet and part of a history packet." Mace smiled. He was glad to see Obi-Wan had taken the initiative to do all of his missing work without being told to, and he knew that Qui- Gon was going to be very pleased with his Padawan's work. "Well get to work then, and we'll go visit Bant as soon as you're done." Obi-Wan headed to his room, where he began work on his Math homework, knowing that the conversions they were learning wouldn't take him very long. In the living room, Mace sat down with a cup of tea and a book, but found himself unable to concentrate. Qui-Gon had said he was going to call right after classes ended, so that he could talk to Obi-Wan and set everything straight regarding his disappointment in his Padawan's actions and the boy's punishment. He hated the idea that Obi-Wan seemed to be scared of him. He also wanted to talk to the boy about his fight earlier in the day with Bruck. Although the boy hadn't started the fight or even fought back, he had still lost his temper with Bruck, which was an issue that needed to be addressed. Mace tried to focus on his reading for another half an hour before giving it up as useless and putting it down. He got up from the couch and crossed the room to the comm. station, where he punched in Qui- Gon's number. There was no answer. Assuming that Qui-Gon was in the middle of something important and had turned his comm. link off, Mace resolved to call him again as soon as they got back from visiting Bant. Obi-Wan finished his homework a few minutes later and walked into the common room. "I'm done!" He announced triumphantly. It was the first time in over a month that he had gotten all of his homework done the night it was assigned. He had almost forgotten what it felt like not to have undone work hanging over his head. "Let's go then." The two headed out the door and down the hall to the healers wing. They walked to the lift a few meters away from the door of Mace's quarters, and Obi-Wan pushed the up button. The lift doors opened, revealing Knight Oela, Bruck's Master. "Well, well. If it isn't Obi-Wan Kenobi. Tell me Kenobi, what gives you the right to beat up my Bruck for no reason? You broke his nose." Obi-Wan stiffened. "I didn't beat him up Knight Oela. He broke his own nose." Mace fought back a smile. She wasn't going to take that one well. "He broke his own nose?! Mace, you really need to talk to this boy's Master. Not only is he beating up younger students for fun, he's lying about it and trying to convince their Masters they did it themselves!" She looked scandalized. "I meant no disrespect Master Oela. What I meant was Bruck broke his nose when he lunged at me. I sidestepped and he hit the wall. He then proceeded to split my lip while I tried to get him off of me. I didn't hit him. Even if I'd wanted too, he was bleeding on me too hard and I couldn't see a thing." Obi-Wan did his best to look contrite. He knew Knight Oela would never believe that Bruck had been at fault, but that wasn't his problem. His problem was whether or not Master Qui-Gon believed it had been Bruck's fault. "Of course. My Padawan, unlike some apprentices I know, is a caring, considerate young man. He would never attack someone, no matter what they said to him." Obi-Wan laughed, but quickly covered it with a cough. Knight Oela rolled her eyes in exasperation and got off the lift. One floor later, Mace and Obi-Wan did the same. "Don't let her get to you Obi-Wan. She just can't accept that her precious Padawan could have done something wrong." Mace gave Obi-Wan a comforting smile, and after a moment the boy smiled back. They reached the healer's ward and walked inside. "Hello Master Mace. Obi-Wan, you're late. You usually get here about an hour ago." The nurse at the reception desk smiled. Both of them had spent practically all of their free time in the healer's ward since Bant had been admitted a month before. The two walked back to Bant's room, where the girl sat, raised up in bed, watching a holo. "Master! Obi-Wan! How are you doing?" Both men smiled. She sounded much better than she had the day before. If she kept improving at the rate she was, she would be coming home in a couple of days. "We're both doing fine little one. How about I leave you two alone to talk for awhile?" Mace gave her a meaningful look, which Bant read easily. Something was wrong with Obi-Wan. As if she hadn't picked up on it the second the two men entered her room. She hadn't known Obi-Wan her entire life for nothing. She could read her friend like a book, and she had seen his distress despite his calm, happy expression. Mace walked out, leaving the two teenagers alone. "What's wrong?" Bant wasted no time getting down to business. Something was eating at her best friend and she wanted to know what. "Everything!" Obi-Wan collapsed heavily into the chair beside Bant's bed. "I think Master Qui-Gon is going to drop me, and I got into a fight with Bruck this morning." Bant placed a gentle hand on her friends shoulder. "Tell me." "You know I've been coming here every day and staying until closing, right?" Bant nodded. "Well, when I would get home, I'd be too tired to do my homework. I tried, but it seemed like I could never get it all done. I told my Master I was anyway. Every night. I'd promised him I'd get it all done, even if I came to visit you every evening, and I couldn't tell him I hadn't been able to. Then Master Knoels sent a note home. I was terrified. If I gave Qui-Gon the note, he would know I hadn't been doing my work and that I'd lied to him. I hid it in my backpack, and figured that was the end of it. It wasn't. He called the next day, and told my Master everything. I don't think I've ever seen him so mad." Obi-Wan put his head in his hands and started to cry. "He sent me to my room and the next thing I knew he was telling me to pack. He's away on a mission, but he left me here with Mace. He didn't even say goodbye!" Obi-Wan's sobs intensified, and the two sat there for a moment, Obi-Wan sobbing and Bant rubbing circles on his back, as if that could possibly help him. "I'm sure your Master isn't going to dump you. You should talk to him." Obi-Wan looked at her as if she'd gone insane. "Talk to him? Are you insane? What do you expect me to say? I know you're furious with me and I've screwed everything up and don't deserve to be a Jedi anymore, but please don't drop me?" Bant shook her head. "Tell him you're sorry, and that you're afraid he's going to get rid of you. Just see what he says." Her voice was commanding, and Obi-Wan felt inclined to obey. This way at least he would know, once and for all, exactly where he stood. "Now, what's this about a fight with Bruck?" Obi-Wan sighed heavily before answering. "I took the shortcut to History, and I ran into him in an empty corridor. He started taunting me, and I lost my temper and started arguing with him. The next thing I knew, he was jumping at me. I sidestepped, and he went flying and broke his nose. The next thing I knew, we were rolling around on the floor, and he was hitting me. I didn't hit him, I swear I didn't! I was too afraid of getting into more trouble with Qui-Gon. Your Master found us, and Bruck blamed the whole thing on me. I told Mace my side of the story once my lip had stopped bleeding, and I think he believed me. He called Master Qui-Gon, but I'd already gone to History by then." He looked up as he finished his story, trying to gauge her reaction. Her expression was one of amusement and fond exasperation. "Obi-Wan! You know better than to let him get to you." He opened his mouth to argue, to point out that he hadn't lost control, but she held up a hand and he fell silent. "You may not have hit him, but you did lose your temper. I can tell right now just from looking at you. You have got to learn not to let him get under your skin! One of these days, you're going to get into an argument with someone and it's going to cost you your life. When will you grow up?" Obi-Wan bristled at this comment. "I'm two years older than you!" He yelled, his voice full of anger. "That is exactly what I was talking about! You have got to learn how to control your temper." Bant's voice remained even, but he could tell she was upset. "You're not my Master. I don't need a lecture from you. I'm in enough trouble with him already. I don't need to listen to it from you too." There was anger in his voice, but for the most part he was hurt. He had expected Bant to take his side, not lecture him on self-control. He stood up to storm out. "I don't have to take this." "Obi." Bant's voice was soft, but something compelled him to pause. "I'm sorry. It's just...I worry about you sometimes. You get mad so easily, and one day you could get hurt. I don't want that. Can't you see? If I yell at you, it's because I hope you'll remember it the next time you get into a fight. And you do need a lecture from me. Your Master has said the same exact things time and time again, and they don't seem to be getting through. Maybe, just maybe you'll remember it when I say it. Get mad and storm off if you want, but remember I say what I say because I care." He turned around. The look on his face was so sad, so hurt it almost broke her heart. "I'm sorry too Bant. I try, I really do. The thing is, no matter what I do, he gets to me. Every time. No matter how hard I try. I just can't keep him from getting under my skin. Some Jedi I make, I can't even keep from getting into fights here at the Temple. No wonder Qui-Gon's getting rid of me." Something about Obi-Wan broke then. His shoulders slumped in defeat, and he fell to his knees, sobbing. Bant was on her feet and across the room in an instant. The healer's had cleared her to get out of bed, as long as she didn't do anything strenuous, news she had meant to surprise Obi-Wan with when he came to visit that day. It didn't matter though. She would have gone to him anyway. Once she reached her friend, she dropped to her knees beside him and hugged him. Something in Obi-Wan recognized that, humiliating as it might be, he needed Bant at that moment, and he clung to her, sobbing on her shoulder, for about five minutes. When his tears had finally quieted, he looked up, startled. "Bant, you shouldn't be out of bed. You're to weak." She shushed him quietly, smiling. "The healers cleared to get out of bed, as long as I didn't do anything strenuous. I wanted to go on a walk today, if you felt up to it." Obi-Wan grinned. "You're allowed out of bed again? That's great! You must really be getting better. I wish we could go on a walk today, but I'm grounded. My Master said I could come visit you for half an hour every day, but no more, and I don't think we really have time." She looked taken aback. "Half an hour? Obi, you've been here an hour already. If you're staying with my Master, I know he wouldn't have let you stay extra." Obi-Wan looked shocked. "Are you sure? That can't be right! Oh, I'm so dead." Bant shook her head. "Go talk to Master Mace, I'm sure the chrono is wrong or something." Obi- Wan stood up, before offering a hand to help Bant to her feet, and she, recognizing the gesture was simply a display of gentlemanly manners and not a hint that she was weak, took it. As soon as Bant was safely in her hospital bed, Obi-Wan left the room to seek out Mace. 


	4. Coming Home

Obi-Wan had searched for his friend Bant's Master for only a few minutes when he found him in the lounge outside the waiting room of the Healer's Ward. He walked over to him quickly, tripping on his own foot and knocking over a plant, which he caught and quickly righted, although not before the Council Member noticed what had happened.

"Hello Obi-Wan." Mace looked up from what he was reading and smiled. The boy probably wanted to know if Bant and he could go for a walk. He knew the girl had intended to surprise her friend with the knowledge that she was allowed to walk around again.

"Master Windu, I was supposed to be back half an hour ago!" Obi-Wan was frantic. He was unsure as to whether he was confessing this to Mace or asking for help, but the Master simply smiled.

"When I talked to Qui-Gon last night, we talked about how upset you've been since he left and he agreed that as long as you got your homework done first there was no harm in letting you stay as long as you wanted." The boy grinned. He was sure Mace had had something to do with that change. "I can be very persuasive, and I convinced him that you spending time with Bant is aiding her recovery."

"Thank you Mace! Can Bant and I go on a walk?" Mace nodded, and Obi-Wan headed off to get Bant.

"C'mon, let's go to the gardens!" Obi-Wan burst into Bant's room. "Don't you have to go back?" She looked startled, and Obi-Wan worried momentarily that startling her might be bad for her health.

"Your Master talked to my Master and convinced him that me hanging around here is helping you recover. He says as long as I finish all of my homework first I can stay for as long as I want!" Obi-Wan helped Bant out of bed and offered her his arm. She took it, and the two strode out to the gardens adjacent to the healing wing.

They walked around for about twenty minutes before Obi-Wan felt Bant grab his arm. Sensing that something was wrong, he reached out and was able to catch her as she fainted. He put his hand on her cheek, and at that moment realized what the problem was. She was too dry. Perhaps she hadn't been drinking enough water since they took her off of the IV. Whatever the reason, she was dehydrated, and if he didn't find her water soon she might die.

Closing his eyes and listening intently, Obi-Wan heard the sound of running water. He knew there was a small brook somewhere in the garden, and he figured it was his best chance to get his friend water before...well, he didn't want to think about that. He picked the small girl up in his arms and was shocked by how light she felt. Bant had always been small, but holding her now was like holding a very small child, perhaps a six or a seven year old. Pushing his worry aside, he concentrated on his current task: finding water for Bant. The water had sounded as if it were somewhere on his left.

Heading that direction, Obi-Wan quickly came upon the small brook. He walked up to the edge and gently submerged Bant. When he felt her beginning to come to life again, he pulled her back up. She sputtered for a moment and then looked up at him. "What happened?" She looked around, confused. This wasn't where they had been a few moments before.

"You fainted. You felt so dry, I thought you were dehydrated." He looked at her with eyes full of worry. "I was so scared!"

"Oh! I've been drinking plenty of water. I guess maybe the extra effort of walking around after so long used more water than I'm used to." Obi-Wan nodded. Mon Calamari used water as energy, and different sorts of activities drained them of different amounts of water. That was part of the reason not having enough water was so unhealthy for them. If they didn't stay damp, their bodies would literally stop functioning. If she hadn't been doing much lately, then the short walk could very well have drained her.

"Are you okay now?" Bant held her friend's gaze a moment before she nodded. She would be fine, if she didn't exhaust herself on the return journey. Obi-Wan reached down and picked her up, not giving her a chance to argue. "I'm not taking any more risks. Let's get back and get you checked out by the healers." She didn't argue. Although she felt more than capable of walking back, she could see how worried her friend was and knew it would be better for his nerves if she just let him carry her.

When they got back, Mace looked at them in surprise. "What's going on? Bant, why are you so wet? Obi-Wan, why are you carrying her?" His voice was near frantic.

"She fainted. I took her to the brook and submerged her. I think she's okay now, but the healers should probably check her out." Obi-Wan sat Bant down gently on her feat, and she stood, looking completely steady. It was almost impossible to believe that she had fainted only a few minutes before.

"Of course. I'll send for a healer. You should go home Obi-Wan. Bant needs to rest, and I don't want her disturbed for the rest of the evening. Come on little one. You should get back in bed. Nurse! Could you come take a look at her? She fainted in the gardens."

Obi-Wan walked back to Mace's quarters, still worried about Bant. He knew she was okay now, but what happened if she fainted again, and nobody helped her in time? She could die. Once he got back to Mace's quarters, Obi-Wan walked into his room and began going through his bag. He emptied it and went through the contents again before realizing that the disk he was looking for wasn't there. His journal was gone. This wasn't good.

Without thinking, he headed out the door and to his own quarters. Once he got there, he proceeded to tear his room apart in much the same way he had his duffel bag. Still not finding the data chip containing his journal, he finally gave up. Looking at his chrono, he realized he had been gone for over an hour.

Jumping to his feet, he hurried back to Mace's quarters. When he arrived, panting and out of breath, he was startled to find Mace sitting on the couch, arms crossed, looking as if he had been waiting for him for quite some time. "Where exactly have you been?" His voice was harsh, and Obi-Wan winced.

"I went to my quarters to look for something I thought I'd packed. I tore my room apart looking for it, but I couldn't find it anywhere." He was careful not to mention what he'd lost. He didn't want Mace to know he kept a journal! It seemed too girly.

"What exactly did you lose?" Mace had relaxed a bit upon realizing Obi-Wan had only been in his quarters, but he still seemed upset.

"A data chip with some, err, personal files on it." Mace gave him a look that said quite plainly that he'd better be more specific. "I lost my journal." The words were frank and plain, and Mace saw the truth in the boy's eyes. That didn't mean he wasn't upset.

"You're grounded Obi-Wan. That means you can't just wander off whenever you feel like it. You aren't supposed to leave just because you lost something. Consider yourself lucky Qui-Gon isn't answering his comlink, or you'd be in a lot of trouble right now young man. As is, there's nothing I can really do until I talk to your Master. Go to your room and I don't want to see you again tonight." Obi-Wan nodded, turning and going into the room without another word. He was afraid anything he said would either sound like he was whining or making excuses. He spent the next few hours sitting on his bed, trying to figure out where his journal could possibly be.

Obi-Wan suddenly remembered where it had been two days before. In the small pocket of his backpack with the note from Master Knoels. His Master might have picked it up when he picked up with the note. What had his Master done with that note? Had he thrown it away, or put it in his pocket? Obi-Wan couldn't remember.

Eventually, he decided he wasn't going to find the journal, and went to bed. He slept restlessly through the night, terrified of his Master's return and worried about Bant. At this point, he didn't think he could make his situation worse, and he'd given up on convincing Qui-Gon to keep him. All he could do was steel himself for his dismissal and take it like a Jedi, without complaining or showing any emotion.

The next three days passed in a blur. Mace was still unable to contact Qui- Gon, and he'd begun to worry. Perhaps something had gone wrong? He hoped not. He wasn't sure Obi-Wan would make it through losing his Master at this point. The boy was too insecure and timid to ever adjust to a new Master. Plus he was still convinced that his Master intended to drop him as soon as he got back. If the two of them didn't get that mess sorted out, Obi-Wan might never recover emotionally from the ordeal. He hesitated to tell the boy that his Master was missing, for fear that the boy would make himself sick worrying.

On the fourth day of Obi-Wan's stay at Mace's, Bant was scheduled to arrive at home. Mace, still unable to contact Qui-Gon for permission, allowed Obi- Wan to miss classes to be there for his friend on her first day home.

Bant was released from the Healer's Wing at about nine in the morning, and her Master was delighted to welcome her home. He had been worried sick about her while she was in the hospital, even once she had passed from danger, and he was glad to have her back under his own watchful eye.

Bant settled in easily, and spent most of the rest of the day sitting in her room talking to Obi-Wan. The situation reminded all of any given afternoon prior to Bant's illness, when the two had spent almost all of their free time hanging out either in Bant's room or down two levels and to the left three doors in Obi-Wan's. The two chatted and worked on homework, happy to just be together outside of the confining walls of the Healer's Ward.

Mace sent Bant to bed around nine thirty, not wanting her to get too tired on her first day home. Obi-Wan went to bed half an hour later, managing to be in bed five minutes ahead of curfew.

Mace was in the living area reading when his com beeped. Answering it, he was surprised to see Obi- Wan's Master on the line. "Qui! Thank the Force you're okay! I was worried. Why haven't you been checking in? I call you several times every day, but you never answered or returned my calls. What's been going on?"

Qui-Gon laughed. "You sent me to end a blockade. Part of the blockade was communications blockage. They got the transmission for help out right before the blockage went into effect. I was calling to tell you I'm on my way home. How's Obi? Is he doing any better?" Qui-Gon seemed concerned. From what Mace had said, the boy had been extremely distraught over the whole mess, and Qui-Gon was eager to get home and get things straightened out.

"He's doing fine. I've already told you about the fight with Bruck, and the other day I sent him back from the Healer's because Bant needed to rest, and when I got home he was gone. He got back about half an hour later and swears he only went to you guy's quarters to look for his journal. I told him grounded meant he couldn't wander around the Temple freely. I figure you've got something to say about both things. On the bright side, he got all of his missing work caught up the day after you left, and he's kept up with everything ever since. He's been great with Bant, and other than those two episodes, the only issues we've had was yesterday when he wouldn't get up for class. He did eventually get up, but he got to class with about twenty seconds to spare." Mace tried to sound as easygoing as possible, as if nothing Obi-Wan had done was serious. He knew the two were going to have some issues to work out when Qui-Gon got back, and he didn't want to say anything that would add to them.

"Just wonderful. I don't want to have to yell at him when I get home, but he's going to be in serious trouble for the fight and now this. I hate it when he acts up." Qui-Gon suddenly looked very tired.

"I know how you feel. I hate it when Bant gets in trouble. You look at them and you know they're sorry and you wish that could be enough, but you know if they don't have to pay the consequences of their actions now it could get them killed later." Qui-Gon sighed. "That doesn't make it any easier. I wish I didn't always have to be the bad guy."

Mace laughed. "The bad guy? Qui, the boy adores you. I don't think he'd worship you the way he does if he didn't understand that you do what you do for a reason." Qui-Gon shook his head. "That's part of the problem. He looks up to me, and that makes him more sensitive when I lecture him. I'm always afraid I'm either going to be too strict and break his spirit or too lax and make him think whatever he did was okay."

"That is a problem only you can solve my friend. When are you getting back?" Mace tried to steer the conversation to a lighter note.

"Tomorrow, around noon."

Mace nodded. "I'll schedule you with the Council around twelve fifteen then. Come by as soon as you get in." He knew Qui-Gon wasn't going to like that.

"I need to be able to go see Obi-Wan first!" Ah, he had been right. This wasn't going to go well.

"We'll make it quick. Just tell us nobody died and that the situation was resolved and I'll get you out of there as fast as possible."

Qui-Gon nodded, unconvinced. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Safe journeys, old friend." Mace ended the communication, sighing. Tomorrow was going to be a difficult day. He debated whether or not to wake Obi-Wan up and tell him his Master would be arriving the next day, finally deciding against it. The boy needed his rest, and he could tell him first thing tomorrow. Reasoning that that was the best thing to do, Mace turned off the light and went to bed.


	5. All's Well, If It Ends Well

Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in forever, but I just got back from California so now things should be a little better. Especially considering that I have nerve damage in my foot and won't be doing much but sitting around for awhile. Good for you guys, but not so much fun for me.

The morning of Qui-Gon's arrival, Mace awoke to the sound of laughter. Obi- Wan and Bant were running around the main room, each holding a pillow. Feathers littered the floor, and Mace looked around in confusion. "What exactly happened here?"

Obi-Wan stopped dead in his tracks, causing Bant to go flying into him. "Um, a pillow fight sir. I can explain."

Mace fought back a smile. Picking up a pillow one of the two seemed to have discarded at some point during the fray, he joined in, laughing at the look on Obi-Wan's face.

The pillow fight continued for a few minutes before Mace finally decided enough was enough. Using the Force, he picked both of them up and began tickling them mercilessly.

"Surrender!" The two yelled at once, and he dropped them gently onto the floor.

"I have to go to a Council meeting. Try to get this place cleaned up before I get back, would you? I'm going to have a break between the morning session and Qui-Gon's debriefing." Mace watched Obi-Wan's face and waited for the excitement he expected to appear as his words sunk in. Instead he saw terror.

"What's wrong Obi?" The boy was practically shaking.

"My Master's coming back today?" He looked so frightened! Mace's heart went out to the boy. "Does he know about, you know, everything I've done while he was gone?"

Mace smiled reassuringly. "Yes he does, and he's disappointed in your behavior, but it'll be okay. You just have to learn not to get into fights."

Obi-Wan's heart was pounding. He was certain that his Master was going to dismiss him as soon as he saw him. Or maybe he'd lecture him first, out of some sense of duty. Whatever happened, Obi-Wan was certain he wasn't going to be a Jedi by the end of the day.   
The morning passed far too quickly for Obi-Wan. It seemed like only a few minutes after Mace had left that he returned to check on them.

"Unless something unexpected comes up, Qui's debriefing is the last thing we've got all day. We'll both be by as soon as that's over." Obi-Wan held his breath until Mace left and then collapsed onto the couch, sighing heavily.

"Wanna talk about it?" Bant knew exactly what was wrong, but she didn't know how to fix it. She'd tried convincing him it would be okay, but he hadn't believed her, and she was at a loss as to what she should try next.

"Isn't much to say." Bant sat down beside Obi-Wan, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'll listen." She thought the best thing for him right now would be to talk off some of the nerves he'd been building up since her Master told him Qui-Gon was back.

"On top of everything else, I had to go and get into a fight with Bruck. How unJedi-like can you get? I broke his nose for crying out loud!"

Bant attempted to soothe him. "No, you got jumped by a bully who doesn't deserve to be a Jedi. It wasn't your fault. You didn't even hit him. Like you told Master Oela, Bruck broke his own nose. It's his fault, not yours, and I'm sure your Master will realize that. You were born to be a Jedi Obi, and nobody in their right mind would have you cast out of the Order." Obi-Wan relaxed slightly. No matter what, Bant still believed in him. Even when he didn't believe in himself.

"Bant?" His voice was hesitant.

"Yes?" He knew she was there for him no matter what.

"Thanks, for you know, trying to convince me everything's okay. Even if you're wrong, talking to you always makes things seem a little bit better."

She laughed. "Obi, everything's going to be okay. And you don't have to thank me. What are friends for?" She hugged him, and he hugged her back. The two sat there for a minute before Bant broke away. "Is your stuff packed?"

Obi-Wan chuckled. "I've been living out of my duffel. There wasn't anything to pack." Bant rolled her eyes, muttering something that sounded distinctly like 'boys!' under her breath. Obi-Wan reached over to tickle her, but stopped dead when he heard the door swish open.

"Obi-Wan? Bant? Where are you guys?" Mace's voice carried down the hallway.

"Living area!" Bant answered, jumping to her feet. Obi-Wan followed suit, albeit a bit less enthusiastically, and the two walked towards the front door of Bant and her Master's apartment.

"Hello Obi-Wan. Hello Bant. You certainly look much healthier than last time I saw you. Mace, I don't mean to be rude, but my apprentice and I should probably be getting back to our own quarters." Qui-Gon's voice was pleasant, and Bant noted with satisfaction that he had called Obi-Wan his apprentice. Granted, he could have been a little more excited to see him, but Qui-Gon had never seemed like the type that showed emotions a lot. Surely he wouldn't say that if he were about to drop him.

Obi-Wan went to the guestroom to retrieve his duffel bag. Once he returned, he turned towards Mace. "Thank you for letting me stay with you while my Master was away." His tone was formal, as if he were thanking a ruler for inviting them to his eldest daughter's wedding.

"My pleasure. You know you're always welcome around here." Mace smiled warmly at the boy, who forced a smile in return.

As they walked back to their quarters, Qui-Gon silently regarded the young man beside him. The boy seemed tense and afraid, and Qui-Gon wondered if he thought his master was still angry. Surely Mace would have said something to him when his communications weren't going through.

As they entered their quarters, Qui-Gon turned to face his Padawan. "Obi- Wan, we need to talk." Obi-Wan obediently followed him to the living room, taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch where his Master sat. Even as he sat down, his heart was pounding. This was it. His career as a Jedi was about to end. Obi-Wan vowed to be brave. He would walk away from the life that was all he had ever known, and he would not look back. It wasn't as if he really had a choice in the first place.

"Padawan, what's wrong?" Qui-Gon had meant to talk about the fight with Bruck first and then discuss the emotions his apprentice was broadcasting, but the terrified look on the boy's face convinced him that the issues regarding his choice to leave his apprentice behind needed to be addressed first.

Obi-Wan just looked at him for a minute. "Nothing's wrong Master." Qui- Gon barely managed to avoid sighing out loud. The boy obviously wasn't going to make this easy.

"Obi-Wan, you know better than to lie to me. What's the matter?" He tried to keep his voice gentle to soften the rebuke, but Obi-Wan looked down in shame. Obi-Wan knew he had to answer his Master, but he couldn't seem to get the words out.

"Areyougoingtodismissme?" He said, not pausing for breath. Realizing what he had just said, he turned bright red. He hadn't handled it diplomatically at all.

Qui-Gon laughed. "Come here you." He pulled Obi-Wan towards him and hugged the boy. Obi-Wan looked startled for a moment before relaxing into his Master's embrace. The two sat there for a moment before Qui-Gon spoke again. "Why would I dismiss you? Have you done something I don't know about?"

His voice was teasing, but Obi-Wan was still too nervous to pick up on that. "I err, well, um, you see...I ran into Bruck in the hall the other day." Qui- Gon nodded. He had already heard this story from Mace, but he wanted Obi- Wan's version. "He started insulting me, and I lost my temper and insulted him back. I know I shouldn't let him get to me, but I just...lost it. The next thing I knew he was jumping at me. I stepped out of the way and he went flying into the wall. He broke his nose. I shouldn't have done it, and I know that, but it was kind of funny to watch him hit the wall." Obi- Wan looked embarrassed. He knew better and Qui-Gon knew it. "The next time he jumped at me, he didn't miss. I swear I didn't hit him." He paused. "I probably would have if it had gone on much longer, but Mace found us then." Obi-Wan turned in his Master's arms so that he was facing him, waiting to see what he had to say.

Qui-Gon didn't know what to say. His apprentice really hadn't done anything wrong, but he had lost his temper, whether it had been violently or not, a problem that needed to be addressed. The boy was obviously beating himself up over the whole mess, so he was tempted to just let it go. Obi-Wan knew it had been wrong. He also knew that if he didn't punish Obi-Wan for the fight the boy would continue to feel guilty. "I've spoken to you several times in the past few months about fighting with Bruck. You know how I feel about it."

Obi-Wan looked down. The only time he had ever heard Qui-Gon yell had been when he had been caught fighting Bruck in the training hall. He had been furious that Obi-Wan would behave so childishly, and the boy had expected a similar reaction this time. "I know you're just a teenager and sometimes you'll get upset, but Jedi can't do that. If you meet someone like Bruck on a mission, you could wind up costing thousands of people their lives just because you lost your temper. I'm tempted to just leave you here until you demonstrate that you can control your temper better."

Obi-Wan looked horrified. "Please I promise it won't happen again, just please don't leave me again!" Obi-Wan sounded so distraught it was almost pathetic.

"If you promise. But if this happens again, you'll be staying home from all missions for two months. Do I make myself perfectly clear Padawan?" Perfect solution. He hadn't actually had to discipline Obi-Wan, but he had managed to make him feel less guilty by telling him that it had been his last chance before he got into serious trouble. "Yes sir!" Obi-Wan nodded enthusiastically. "Now, why did you think I was going to dismiss you? I know it wasn't over the fight with Bruck." Qui-Gon was concerned. He wanted to know what he had done to frighten the boy so badly.

"The thing with my Galactic homework. You sounded so mad. You told me you were 'to angry to deal with me', and the next thing I knew you were telling me to pack. Then when we got there you left without saying goodbye. You didn't say goodbye..." Oh, no. Qui-Gon hadn't even realized he hadn't told him goodbye.

"Oh, Obi-Wan. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I hadn't said goodbye. And I was angry because of how far you had pushed yourself. You were literally almost ready to collapse, and you'd hidden it from me so that I couldn't help you. I was worried about you Padawan." Qui-Gon's voice was full of fatherly affection, and Obi-Wan knew he meant it. Force he'd been stupid. He should have known Qui-Gon would never kick him out, especially for something like not doing his homework. He hugged his Master tightly, and Qui-Gon returned the embrace, ruffling the boy's hair. "There will always be times when you mess up and get in trouble, and sometimes you may hate me for it, but I love you and I'd never send you away."

Obi-Wan was surprised. "I could never hate you Master. I know when I'm in trouble, and I know it's my own fault." Qui-Gon simply smiled. He knew that attitude wouldn't last. His little boy was fast growing into a young man, and with the changes he seemed to become slightly more unruly, although he was still very well behaved, for a fifteen year old boy. Obi- Wan leaned comfortably against Qui-Gon and the two sat like that for some time, content simply to be together.

Some time later, they decided they were hungry and set about making lunch. Over soup and sandwiches, they discussed Obi-Wan's failure to turn in his homework and his subsequent grounding. Qui-Gon had already decided that since the boy had already made up all of his homework there was no reason not to lift the grounding, news which pleased Obi-Wan greatly.

The boy seemed slightly guilty, and Qui-Gon wondered if he would tell him what was wrong. Finally, as they were finishing lunch, he did. "History wasn't the only class I didn't get my homework done in. I missed some math stuff too." Qui-Gon was surprised. Surely his math teacher would have sent a note home or something by now, unless he'd hid it too. Force help him if that was the case.

"When do you plan to get it done?" His voice held a slight edge, and Obi-Wan tensed slightly. His earlier fear of losing Qui-Gon's affection was gone, but he wasn't sure if his Master still trusted him or not.

"I already did it." Obi-Wan answered quickly, hoping his Master wouldn't be too upset with him.

"Then I don't see it as a problem. We didn't exactly have a chance to discuss the fact that you hadn't been turning in your homework. I'm not surprised it went further than I knew. Is there anything else?" Obi-Wan shook his head. "Then I suggest you call Bant or Garen and see if they want to go hang out." S

miling, Obi-Wan nodded and went to call his friends. When he returned a few hours later, Obi-Wan was surprised to find his Master wasn't anywhere to be found. Knocking softly on his bedroom door, he said, "Master? Are you here?"

The door opened. "I'm right here Padawan. When did you get back? I didn't hear you come in." Qui-Gon walked back into his room, gesturing for Obi-Wan to follow. "I found something of yours in my pocket the other day. I think I must have accidentally grabbed it when I got that note out of your backpack." Picking up a datachip from the table beside his bed, Qui-Gon handed it to his apprentice.

"My journal!! I looked everywhere for this!" His excitement at finding his journal was quickly replaced by nervousness. "Master, you didn't read it did you?" He'd written some things in that journal that he definitely didn't want his Master reading. "No, but I must ask why you would be afraid that I might have. What could you possibly have written that you don't want me reading? Is there something going on I should know about?" Qui-Gon's voice was stern, but he sent a wave of support through their bond, along with assurances that he would love his Padawan no matter what he'd done.

"I-It's nothing like that. I just...my feelings aren't always completely appropriate. I've probably vented in there a few times about things I ought not complain about. Whenever Bant and I swap she laughs about how upset I sound in the entries, and how she usually can't remember me being that upset." Obi-Wan could think of one entry in particular shortly after Bant had fallen ill in which he had used some language to describe his Master. He'd had a hard time focusing during lightsaber drills earlier that day, and his Master had made him spend time after classes meditating when he wanted to go see Bant. He'd been very upset, and he was sure he'd said a few things he would regret if his Master ever read it. There were also some entries where he recounted fights his Master didn't know about, among other things.

"Bant reads these?" Obi-Wan nodded.

"We swap off every two months or so and read each other's journals. It's funny to think about how stupid some of the things we were upset about seem two months later."

"So you trust Bant to read your journal, but you don't trust your own Master. I see." Qui-Gon's voice wasn't accusatory, but Obi-Wan could tell he was hurt.

"I just don't know. There are things in there that I know she'd understand, but I doubt anyone else will, even you." Qui-Gon took the chip from his apprentice and put it into his datapad. He scrolled down before selecting an entry. "How about this one Padawan?" Obi-Wan scanned it over his shoulder and groaned. Of all the entries he could have picked! But he nodded. Gulping, he moved aside so Qui-Gon could read  
  
Month Four, Day Seven, 22763  
It's been one of those days. I ran into Bruck in the hallway, and we both threw a few punches, but thankfully my Master doesn't know about it. That's the only thing that's gone right all day. Bant kept pestering me about why I was so upset and wouldn't leave me alone. Finally I told her I never wanted to see her again, and she took a hint and left me alone. I should probably go find her and apologize as soon as I finish this. I also got into an argument with my Master earlier. Why does he have to be such a jerk? Nothing I ever do is right, and even if it is, it isn't good enough Sometimes I wish I had a different Master, who actually gave a damn about me. I locked myself in my room about an hour ago to fume, and thankfully he hasn't tried to get me to come out. If he pulls one of those 'you were being an ungrateful brat but I'm willing to overlook it this one time' things he does sometimes I swear I'll lose it. I hate it when he does that! It's always Obi-Wan do this. No not like that! That's not right. Do it like I showed you. You ought to be able to do this. Well I can't, okay?! I can't do it, and I'm sick of trying. Why can't he just understand I'm not as good as everyone else and I never will be? I'm so sick of this. I don't deserve to be his Padawan. He should just get rid of me and find someone who won't screw everything up.

Qui-Gon looked up as he finished reading and Obi-Wan winced, waiting for his Master's reaction to his writing. He expected a lecture on both fighting and the inappropriateness of his thoughts and was startled when his Master pulled him into a hug.

"You're one of the most remarkable apprentices I know Obi-Wan. Just because you don't always get everything right the first time doesn't mean you aren't as good as everyone else. You're skilled with a lightsaber, strong in the Force, and, as I'm sure Bant would agree, a loyal friend." Qui-Gon held Obi-Wan close, and the boy relaxed into his Master's arms.

"You know how I feel about fighting, but you've improved lately and I don't see any point in lecturing you about a fight you were in almost a month ago. Always remember, even when we argue, that I love you Padawan. If I seem harsh or judgmental, it's only for your own good." While it hurt Qui- Gon to know how upset his apprentice had been when he wrote that journal entry, he was glad he'd read it. It had forced him to acknowledge his Padawan's insecurity, and hopefully deal with it.

Hugging his Master tightly, Obi-Wan smiled. He was content for the first time in almost a month. Bant was better, his homework was finally done, and his Master still loved him. To top it all off, he'd caused Bruck to break his nose without doing anything he could get in trouble for. Life, Obi-Wan Kenobi decided, was indeed a wonderful thing. 


End file.
